Newsreel Announcer: After the first month of league play, the shine still isn't off these "diamond" gals. Alice "Skeeter" Gaspers says legging out a triple is no reason to let your nose get shiny — Betty Grable has nothing on these gals. Helen Haley has not only been a member of several championship amateur teams, she is also an accomplished coffee maker.
Ernie Capadino: Are you coming? See, how it works is, the train moves, not the station!
Dottie Hinson: Can we just hold each other (Bob had just returned from the War) for the rest of our lives?
Bob Hinson: That's my plan.
Maida Gillespie: Careers and higher education are leading to the masculinization of women, with enormously dangerous consequences to the home, the children, and our country. When our boys come home from war, what kind of girls will they be coming home to? And now the most disgusting example of this sexual confusion: Mr. Walter Harvey of Harvey bars is presenting us with women's baseball. Right here in Chicago, young girls plucked from their families are gathered at Harvey Field, to see which one of them can be the most masculine. Mr. Harvey, like your candy bars, you're completely... nuts!
Doris Murphy: Evelyn! Your kid ate the line up!
Ma Keller: For goodness sake, Kit, keep your voice down, your father is listening to the radio.
Helen Haley: Has anyone seen my new red hat?
Dottie Hinson: Oh, piss on your hat!
Helen Haley: Well, that seemed uncalled for!
Ernie Capadino: Hey cowgirls, see the grass? Don't eat it.
Doris Murphy: Hey Mae, Mae, your date's here.
Mae Mordabito: How do I look?
Doris Murphy: Where'd you get that dress?
Mae Mordabito: Borrowed it.
Doris Murphy: It don't fit you, Mae, it's too tight.
Mae Mordabito: I don't plan on wearing it that long.
Doris Murphy: Ohh! I don't know why you get dressed at all.
Ernie Capadino: Hey, no skin off my Ashtabula. You want to stay here plucking cows, that's your business.
Dottie Hinson: How good am I?
Jimmy Dugan: You stink, you're lousy, you're only the best player in the league.
Dave Hooch: I know my girl ain't so pretty as these girls, but that's my fault. I raised her like I would a boy. I didn't know any better. She loves to play. Don't make my little girl suffer because I messed up raising her. Please.
Doris Murphy: It's the second time he (the Reverend giving confession) dropped that bible since she's been in.
Doris Murphy: Mae! What did you say?
Mae Mordabito: Everything.
Doris Murphy: Okay, let's make like a bread truck and haul buns ladies!
Ernie Capadino: Ow! Doesn't that hurt them (the cows)?
Dottie Hinson: Doesn't seem to.
Ernie Capadino: Well, it would bruise the hell out of me.
Dottie Hinson: Who are you?
Ernie Capadino: I'm Ernie Capadino. I'm a baseball scout. I saw you playing today. Not bad, not bad. You ever heard of Walter Harvey, makes Harvey bars — you know, the candy?
Dottie Hinson: Yeah. We feed them to the cows when they're constipated.
Ernie Capadino: That's the guy. He's starting a girls' baseball league, so he can make a buck while the boys are overseas. Wanna play?
Dottie Hinson: Huh?
Ernie Capadino: Nice retort. Tryouts are in Chicago. It's a real league, professional.
Kit Keller: Professional — baseball?
Ernie Capadino: Mmm-hmm. They'll pay you 75 dollars a week.
Kit Keller: We only make 30 at the dairy!
Ernie Capadino: Well then, this would be more, wouldn't it?
Umpire: Perhaps you chastised her too vehemently. Good rule of thumb: treat each of these girls as you would treat your mother.
Jimmy Dugan: Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a penis with a little hat on?
Mae Mordabito: Sound it out...
Shirley Baker: Kimm...
Mae Mordabito: Kimono.
Shirley Baker: Kimono, kimono. Off. And. Gr-- Gra-- Grabb"d.
Mae Mordabito: Grabbed.
Shirley Baker: Her. M-- mi-- mil-- mil-- milky, milky. White, white. Milky white.
Evelyn Gardner: Mae! What are you giving her to read?
Mae Mordabito: Oh, what the difference does it make? She's reading, okay? That's the important thing. Now go away, go, shoo, shoo. Go ahead, Shirley, you're doing good.
Shirley Baker: Thanks, Mae. Milky white bre-- breasts!
Gives Mae a surprised look
Mae Mordabito: It gets really good after that. Look. The delivery boy walked in.
Jimmy Dugan: Taking a little day trip?
Dottie Hinson: No, Bob and I are driving home. To Oregon.
Dottie Hinson: Well, you were wrong.
Jimmy Dugan: Was I?
Dottie Hinson: Yeah. It is only a game, Jimmy. It's only a game, and, and, I don't need this. I have Bob; I don't need this. At all.
Jimmy Dugan: I, I gave away five years at the end my career to drink. Five years. And now there isn't anything I wouldn't give to get back any one day of it.
Dottie Hinson: Well, we're different.
Jimmy Dugan: Shit, Dottie, if you want to go back to Oregon and make a hundred babies, great, I'm in no position to tell anyone how to live. But sneaking out like this, quitting, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Baseball is what gets inside you. It's what lights you up, you can't deny that.
Dottie Hinson: It just got too hard.
Jimmy Dugan: It's supposed to be hard! If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great!
Older Ellen Sue: That was clearly inside. That was a ball
Umpire: Listen that might have been a ball yesterday, it might have been a ball last week, but this is today and I'm calling it a strike.
Newsreel Announcer: Then there's pretty Dottie Henson, who plays like Gehrig, and looks like Garbo. Uh-uh, fellas, keep your mitts to yourself; she's married. And there's her kid sister Kit, who's as single as they come. Enough concentrated oomph for a whole carload of Hollywood starlets.
Doris Murphy: There are over a hundred girls out here. So some of you are going home.
Dottie Hinson: What do you mean some of us (as she catches a fastball bare-handed)?
Mae Mordabito: OK, so maybe some of them are going home.
Radio Sportscaster: This week, on "The World of sports": When the boys are overseas, and off to war, baseball pitches in for the war effort. Trading bats for bullets, Yankees star Joe DiMaggio promises to give those Nazis a jolt. Ace fire baller, Bob Feller, has traded Cleveland gray for navy blue. Baseball biggest stars say: Look out Mr. Hitler, the Yanks are coming, not to mention the Indians, Red Sox, and Tigers.
Jimmy Dugan: Uh, Lord, hallowed be Thy name. May our feet be swift; may our bats be mighty; may our balls... be plentiful. Lord, I'd just like to thank You for that waitress in South Bend. You know who she is — she kept calling Your name. And God, these are good girls, and they work hard. Just help them see it all the way through. Okay, that's it.
Ira Lowenstein: Until you did that, I couldn't tell if you were... drunk or dead.
Jimmy Dugan: It was made very clear to me what I'm supposed to do here. I smile, wave my little hat... I did that, so when do I get paid?
Ira Lowenstein: Now, Jimmy, you have some pretty good ballplayers here. You ought to give them a little bit of your (stops because Jimmy spits)
Ira Lowenstein: If we paid you a little bit more, Jimmy, do you think you could be just a little more disgusting?
Dottie Hinson: What did you give her (Marla)?
Doris Murphy: Just a new dress.
Mae Mordabito: And a whole lotta liquor.
Mae Mordabito: What if at a key moment in the game my, my uniform bursts open and, uh, oops!, my bosoms come flying out? That, that might draw a crowd, right?
Doris Murphy: You think there are men in this country who ain't seen your bosoms?
Announcer: Well, bite my butt and call me an apple!
Kid: What's your rush, dollbody? What do you say we slip in the back seat, and make a man out of me?
Dottie Hinson: What do you say I smack you around for a while?
Kid: Can't we do both?
Dottie Hinson: You ever been married?
Jimmy Dugan: Well, let me think... yeah, twice.
Dottie Hinson: Any children?
Jimmy Dugan: One of them was, yeah.
Kit Keller: You ever hear Dad introduce us to people? "This is our daughter Dottie, and this is our other daughter, Dottie's sister!"
Older Dottie: You haven't changed one bit.
Older Ellen Sue: Dottie, I married a plastic surgeon!
Walter Harvey: You kind of let me down on that San Antonio job.
Jimmy Dugan: I, uh, yeh, I, uh... I freely admit, sir, I had no right to... sell off the team's equipment like that; that won't happen again.
Walter Harvey: Let me be blunt. Are you still a fall-down drunk?
Jimmy Dugan: Well, that is blunt. Ahem. No sir, I've, uh, quit drinking.
Walter Harvey: You've seen the error of your ways.
Jimmy Dugan: No, I just can't afford it.
Walter Harvey: It's funny to you. Your drinking is funny. You're a young man, Jimmy: you still could be playing, if you just would've laid off the booze.
Jimmy Dugan: Well, it's not exactly like that... I hurt my knee.
Walter Harvey: You fell out of a hotel! That's how you hurt it.
Jimmy Dugan: Well, there was a fire.
Walter Harvey: Which you started, which I had to pay for.
Jimmy Dugan: Well, now, I was going to send you a thank-you card, Mr. Harvey, but I wasn't allowed anything sharp to write with.