"Do they leave it (Fenway's Green Monster) there during the game?"
"Hell, if KY jelly went off the market, the whole California Angels pitching staff would be out of baseball."
"If it had been me out there, I'd had bitten him his ear off. I'd have Van Gogh'ed him." Source: Five Seasons (Roger Angell)
"I'm mad at Hank (Aaron)
for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I'd be remembered forever. Now, I'll have to throw him another."
"I think about the cosmic snowball theory. A few million years from now the sun will burn out and lose its gravitational pull. The earth will turn into a giant snowball and be hurled through space. When that happens it won't matter if I get this guy out."
"I would change policy, bring back natural grass and nickel beer. Baseball is the belly-button of our society. Straighten out baseball, and you straighten out the rest of the world." Source: Los Angeles Times (February 3, 1977)
"Kids don't learn the fundamentals of baseball at the games anymore."
"Most of the managers are lifetime .220 hitters. For years pitchers have been getting these managers out 75% of the time and that's why they don't like us."
"People are too hung up on winning. I can get off on a really good helmet throw." Source: The Baseball Card Engagement Book (1990)
"That was real baseball. We weren't playing for money. They gave us Mickey Mouse watches that ran backwards."
"The designated gerbil (nickname given to Don Zimmer
by Spaceman Lee)."
"The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be."
"The only rule I got is if you slide, get up." Source: USA Today (October 25, 1989)
"The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything."
"There's nothing in the world like the fatalism of the Red Sox fans, which has been bred into them for generations by that little green ballpark, and the wall, and by a team that keeps trying to win by hitting everything out of sight and just out-bombarding everyone else in the league. All this makes Boston fans a little crazy and I'm sorry for them." Source: Late Innings (Roger Angell)
"You have two hemispheres in your brain - a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and right controls the left half. It's a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds." Source: Sports Illustrated (April 7, 1980)
"You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church."
"You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees."