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1 |
You can play baseball as much or as little as you want, YOU get to decide. |
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2 |
In baseball, the other team pays attention throughout, even if they're done scoring. |
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3 |
If you have to take a piss during a baseball game, you can say "Excuse me, I gotta drain the swamp" and you don't lose style points. |
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4 |
In baseball, nobody comments on the size of your bat, as long as you know what to do with it. |
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5 |
In baseball, you don't have to compliment the other team on their new uniforms. |
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6 |
In baseball, you can play the same team every day for a year and it's never the same twice. |
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7 |
You don't have to buy the other team dinner to get a game. |
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8 |
In baseball, you don't feel guilty about winning the ugly ones. |
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9 |
After an unusually long and difficult baseball game you can still ride your bike home. |
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10 |
The other team never has to forfeit a game because they're on their period. |
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11 |
If you get all scratched up in a baseball game, you can brag about it to your wife. |
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12 |
In baseball, you can go a couple months without scoring and your balls won't hurt. |
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13 |
You don't mind if your parents come to watch you play baseball. |
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14 |
You can play three, maybe four baseball games a day. |
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15 |
In baseball, you don't care if the other team has had marital relations with diseased livestock. |
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16 |
In a good weekend of baseball, you can play six or seven different teams and it only costs you twenty bucks and you may get a prize at the end. |
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17 |
Playing the wrong baseball team won't get you shot. |
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18 |
You can be absolutely certain that, nine months after a baseball game, the other teams lawyers won't call, asking for half of your pre-tax income for the next eighteen years. |
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19 |
Rest assured that the other team will not invite you to the ballet. |
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20 |
The other team doesn't demand that you shave before the game. |
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21 |
The other team can smell like road kill and you'll never know it. |
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22 |
If you don't score in a baseball game, the other team doesn't ask you if you've had that problem often. |
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23 |
No matter how drunk the other team is they never throw up in your bed. |
